


Funeral

by cigaretteahegao



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-23 00:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cigaretteahegao/pseuds/cigaretteahegao
Summary: Bucky and Clint are once again stuck together after Natashas funeral. This time, they had no secret spy mission. Just each other. Now they're stuck coping with her death, together.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanoff, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter One

It had been exactly a week since Natasha Romanoff had died. One week, 6 hours and 2 minutes. Not that he was counting. Not that he had a reason to count either. It wasn’t like she was coming back. James Buchanan Barnes may have been many things, but an optimistic or hopeful person was not one of them.

Still, he found himself counting. Even as he stood here, waiting for the train, it seemed to tick in his head, like a clock that he couldn’t stop. He desperately wanted it to. It was just a reminder that she was gone.

“Y’know, you don't need to brood every time you get time you get a minute to think.” Somehow, once again after Nat’s death he found himself stuck with Barton. It seemed like something that was just going to become a common occurrence now.

Bucky went right for his natural response to glare.

This time though, they weren’t on some secret mission to retrieve her. They weren’t following some clues and arguing like it was some buddy cop movie. This time, they were on the way to the funeral. 

Hawkeye, was of course acting like he didn’t care. But you could see it, his eye bags were bigger than usual. He seemed drained. Even though Barnes would never admit it, he was concerned for him. Bucky understood that death happened-- Clint? He took it as a personal fault. 

This wasn’t a death they could just cope with through missions and hope alone. They both saw it. They had to drag her body away. They had to stand there while she bled out in front of them. She bled and they sat, frenzied to save her. Neither of them could. 

He just shoved his hands into his pockets, looking down at the tracks in front of him. The air was crisp, and cold. Clint's nose seemed to be a bright pink color at this point, everytime Bucky looked next to him, it seemed to be redder and redder. 

Train stations always seemed so gloomy. Maybe, he just really hated trains. “I miss her too, you know.” He's back to looking up at the man next to him.

“Explains why you’re more greasy than usual,” This is exactly why they didn’t hang out. How did Nat put up with this guy? “She would want you to shower.” He reassured his tone joking but it came out flat..

The only reaction he has is a sigh at this point. “Anyone ever tell you you’re the worst?” He was trying to connect with him, but this just seemed like a sign that he should stick to tolerating him. 

“All the time, actually. ” Clint's hands look unsteady, they tremor slightly everytime they move. Bucky had no clue if it was caffeine or nerves, but then again, Barton just seemed like a mess of a human being to start with. 

Rocking back and forth, Bucky anxiously waited for the train. He's not sure he could exactly go much longer with Clint. At least on the train, he can pretend to sleep or something. Here? He was stuck.

Finally, the steady chug of the train was coming, the tracks rattling with its each move. As soon as it stopped, Bucky's legs seemed to move quicker than needed. He handed in his ticket, and speeded right to his seat.

Things were all good, for the brief second that Clint wasn’t next to him. That was until he slid into the seat next to him, their legs awkwardly touching. A part of Bucky's soul seemed to die as soon as they made contact.

“So….you and trains, huh,” Clint asked, his hands in his lap, his head resting on the back of the seat.

Bucky ran his hand through his hair before responding. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” There are not many people that would annoy the Winter Soldier, and yet, that does not deter Clint Barton. He sounded more annoyed than upset.

“Did trains even exist when you were born? You lived in like the dinosaur age,” Clints eyes seemed to be almost closed, on the verge of passing out mid conversation. 

“No Barton, trains definitely did not exist,” Bucky wanted to be sarcastic, but it didn’t come across well. As Clint has said before, he seems to stay the same regardless of what's going on. It makes it hard to understand. 

It seemed like Clint was asleep by now. He had no witty comeback to reply with and his body seemed unnaturally still. It took Barnes a quick glance to see, he was definitely passed out. 

Bucky decided to leave him alone. “You can sleep through anything,” he was mostly talking to him. It was meant to be an insult but it seemed to come out less insulting than he wanted it to be. Honestly? It seemed well needed. Clint Barton was many things, and a dumpster fire of a human being was one of them. If Bucky coped bad, Clint was worse.

The train seemed empty. Besides them it was just some old people, a man and his baby, and a few college kids-- probably on their way back to university. He was almost searching for that bright red hair on the train. He didn’t find it. 

His fingers traced over the fabric armrest next to him. The Winter Soldier was not an anxious person. At least, that's what he wanted others to think. But this wasn’t exactly on the top of his list of things he wanted to do. Attending the funeral of one of the only people he had left, left him with some empty feelings. Being on a train after the whole hydra thing wasn’t great either. 

God, he almost wished Clint was still awake. His annoying ass may have been annoying, but it was better than this. He’d survive. 

As soon as a waitress lady came by, Bucky ordered two cups of coffee. One was for the bird brain next to him, if he would ever wake up. But he wasn’t going to intentionally wake him up. So, he just set it in the cup holder next to him.

“Is that your boyfriend?” The college kid next to him asked. Her voice seemed sweet, but it made Bucky debate his life decisions.

“He's not my--” He seemed to die inside with the comment, “he's not my boyfriend. We’re not even really friends.” He sounded incredibly grumpy, as the usual. 

“He’d be lucky to be my boyfriend,” Clint was still half asleep, eyes closed. This is exactly why Bucky hated him. 

“You both seem awfully close,” the girl muttered. This is also why he hated people. “But alright then,” at last she finally turned back to her friends. Bucky seemed ready to commit a murder, while Clint sat there with a dorky smile on his face. 

Clint's hands still clutched the cup of coffee Bucky got him, grateful for the caffeine. “You’d be lucky to have me if anything,” Bucky was obviously out of comebacks. He just strongly hated this interaction. 

“I would get to see you be an angsty teenager all the time. How exciting.” 

“It's more exciting than whatever you’ve got going on.” Bucky is 100% sure Clint’s only friends are some teenager from the Young Avengers and his dog. His taste in women is also questionable at best. 

Clint has already completely downed the coffee. “When's the last time you’ve had a date? The 1800’s?” Bucky's last date, happened to be quite dead. So yes, it's been a while.

“It's starting to sound like you want to date me,” Buck was joking. 

“Maybe I could make you shower then,” Bucky's face subconsciously went for a glare. 

So, instead of arguing with an idiot Bucky just shut his eyes, hoping this whole train ride would be over soon. He wasn’t sure which was worse. Barton or this funeral coming up. Luckily, he was able to drift off before Clint could utter another word.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Clint end their train ride with a conversation.

Even with murder on her hands, he trusted her completely. Bucky held it, rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of her hand. He glanced at her, her face glowing and her red hair falling from her face. 

Bucky’s dreams rarely were happy like this. Although, it seems like she's all that crossed his head anymore. Between the explosions and murders in his dream, she was like a beacon of peace. But he almost wanted it to stop. Bucky wanted to move on. She was just another face that haunted him in his sleep.

He's sick of it, but it was hard to stay like that long when all he could feel was her warmth. Deep in that cold exterior of hers she had a lot of love to give. She was funny and a dork at times. But he could also understand those dark parts of her, that made her the Black Widow. She was maybe untrusting and at times dangerously secretive-- but they understood each other. She did what was needed to get the job done. It was all a part of the job. No other avenger seemed to understand that.

Even in a fight she was amazing. Quick, efficient, and insanely strong. She seemed to make even a fight he didn’t want to be a part of more bearable. 

He just wanted to hold onto this memory for a while. 

As he started to open his eyes something wet seemed to be marking up his arm ( the one he still had ) , the marker feeling almost causing him to break the arm of whoever was doing it.   
“What the fuck--” Bucky sounded half asleep still, Clint finally stopped and capped the marker. 

He seemed vaguely afraid, but also amused. “Thought you were asleep,” Clint thought that would somehow ease the situation he had gotten himself in. Looking at his forearm, he saw the words ‘I luv Hawkeye’ in big, and poor handwriting. “Please dont murder me,” Bucky just pulled his sleeve back down. 

Somedays, he wished Clint would be afraid of him like the rest of society. It would make things like this preventable. Unfortunately, he could not murder a man he was slightly friends with. Even that was pushing it.

“Why are you like this?” He muttered. He just wanted to punt Clint into the sun. He often wondered what would happen if he was hanging out with the other side of the Avengers, that seemed to have their shit together. Instead he got stuck with anyone ever called Captain America, Natasha and Clint. It almost made him think he possibly needed more friends.

“Funny? Amazing? Charming.” They seemed to have this conversation a lot.

It seemed Clint just wanted to do anything other than talk to him about Natasha’s death. Even if that meant repeating the same old banter. Usually this whole emotionless act was his thing. 

It wasn’t exactly Bucky's thing to talk to people about their emotions. He had trouble talking about his emotions to his therapist. Imagine him trying to console Hawkeye. It would be a nightmare.

But he wanted to try. “Clint--” He didn’t exactly know how to finish that sentence. So, he simply didn’t. “I'm here,” He hated lacking the social skills needed for this “if you need me,”. The sentence almost sounded painful. He almost wanted to just slide him his therapist's number, and hope for the best.

The train seemed to rock more intensely as he said it, the other guests too quiet for his liking. “I know she meant a lot to you.” His face seemed as empathetic as he could make it. 

Clint seemed to be processing it all, before he responded. “I didn’t know you did this whole emotion thing,” There seemed to be his usual joking tone in his voice, but it fell flat, almost as if forgot the joke. His hands never seemed to stop moving, but here he was, as still as a statue. “I’m fine, you don’t need to worry about it,” 

“And I'm an Avenger,” He almost rolled his eyes, but decided that that would almost definitely ruin the moment.. That did not ease Bucky’s worries, at all actually. But he wasn’t going to push it. 

The train seemed to almost abruptly stop. Bucky's heart jumped for a moment, before seeing the station in front of them. Maybe he did have a thing with trains. 

The train crowd seemed to all jump up at once, Bucky quickly grabbed his bag and stepped out, a breath of fresh air much needed. After 5 hours with Barton, he almost wanted to run away.

“You ready?” Clint grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it reassuring him. Bucky immediately grabbed his hand and removed it. That just caused Hawkeye to frown, disappointed. 

“Are you?” He asked in response. 

“Nope,” Clint said, starting to walk in front of Bucky, heading straight for the exit. Bucky, reluctantly, followed.


End file.
